Blame It On The Boys

Like everything else, Wilhelm finds out about it when some “friend” he only sees at parties texts him.

RG

did you see the newest sweden twitter guy? haha what a joker as if tweeting is doing something for the country

Wilhelm’s vaguely aware of the @sweden account, whose authorship rotates through ordinary Swedes every week, from whenever something particularly funny or rude that makes the news. He goes to check it, expecting something along the same lines. The account is wholly in English, and right at the top are two tweets with tens of thousands of likes.

Wilhelm scoffs: it’s yet another person who assumes they know who he is just from a couple of headlines and photos. The profile picture shows a young man who is good looking, in a smug way, and Wilhelm resents everything about him.

He starts scrolling down, so he can judge this man over the internet in full. There’s several tweets highlighting various Swedish choirs with Youtube links, tweets about the expensive rental market in Stockholm, and then —

Wilhelm videocalls Erik.

“How can they let someone say that about me? Isn’t this Twitter supposed to promote Sweden?”

Erik blinks as he catches up with Wilhelm’s thoughts. He gets that frown on his face. “You know as public figures we’ll always have detractors.”

“This guy said all I do is party!”

“Rise above them,” Erik instructs. “And don’t respond.”

Wilhelm juts his lip. “Okay.”

He opens an incognito window and proceeds to log into his anonymous Twitter account, the one he uses to follow people he can’t follow on his public account. He figures out how to make his tweets public, then tweets, in English:

This makes Wilhelm pause, because he is, in fact, paid by the monarchy. Specifically his mom. Farima rings him, probably about whatever bullshit ribbon cutting he has to do redeem his public image this week.

When he hangs up, he finds his screen taken over by notifications. He taps the top one, only for Twitter to hang as it tries to load.

Wilhelm paces in his living room. He’s mortified. He didn’t mean for others to take his anonymous tweet as some sort of rallying cry.

The first thing he does is turn his profile back to private. Then next he DMs @sweden, switching into Swedish.

Simon Eriksson

Sorry I didn’t mean to cause a riot in your replies.

He’s surprised when he gets a reply.

Didn’t you??

Sorry checked your account and you look like a Twitter newbie… don’t worry this is a normal Tuesday on Twitter

I expected some controversy but not a Buzzfeed article

Don’t take anything personally

A Buzzfeed article? Wilhelm wants to hide in his bed, in the insulated safety of a winter duvet. Still, he tries to apologize properly.

It’s my fault for accusing you first.

I don’t disagree that the monarchy can be superfluous.

You just didn’t like my attack on Prince Wilhelm

No.

Yeah I guess I was a little mean… I wouldn’t like a permanent spotlight on me at 19 either.

A one week spotlight is probably my max

No one is bothering you too much right now are they?

Lol it’s fine… I’d changed my number a while ago so my asshole ex-schoolmate failed to doxx me

WAIT WHAT have you told the police???

Don’t worry! I have social media staff right now as @sweden… they’re helping monitor it.

Not that the charges would stick because the dude is related to the royals

Wilhelm frowns. There are relatives he hasn’t met, but he knows all of the ones living in Sweden, and there are only a few around his age.

You went to school with someone related to the royals?

I went to Hillerska… the same school Crown Prince Erik attended

I’m surprised that someone who went to Hillerska would criticize the royals

Not to say that you can’t.

I was one of the “poor” students

Suddenly, the source of @sweden’s animosity becomes clear. If he’s the same age as Wilhelm, he must know August. August has never been shy about his disdain for the local day students he went to school with for three years. That disdain never seemed to stop August from dating and dumping them. Just to check, Wilhelm asks:

Who is your asshole ex-schoolmate?

What are you going to google him?

August Horn

Oh yeah total asshole

Wait you know him?

Wilhelm doesn’t want to lie, necessarily, so:

My older brother went to Hillerska with him.

So… you’re one of the rich kids

Yes 🙃

Lol you seem fine so far… no boasting about weekend trips to the French Riveria yet

If I ever do you have permission to punch me

Over the internet? I wish I had that power lol

Hey do you want my real account… I didn’t publicize it because I didn’t want the attention but a lot of other people can read these messages

Fuck, Wilhelm didn’t even think of that. He starts to panic, and then the counselling kicks in. It isn’t too bad, he tells himself. No one working at the Swedish Institute would or could reasonably look up the two hundred or so students August went to school with and then their younger siblings. He repeats it to himself once more, before focusing back onto his conversation with @sweden.

Yes

Ok it’s @estrallado

@estrallado has a fish as its a profile photo, and is locked. Wilhelm requests to be added, and chews at a hangnail until the DM button shows up.

simme

Hi

Hi! So you know a ton about me now do you mind if I ask a bit about you?

Wilhelm does, a little bit, but an age would be fine. And his university has forty thousand students so that couldn’t be very revealing either.

I’m 19 too. I go to Uppsala

Same as Prince Wilhelm lol

Wait do you know him? If you do I’m sorry for going off on you

There is no way for Wilhelm to answer that question directly without lying. He prevaricates.

I’ve seen him around

That would be weird if you did know him… though we both know that asshole August so maybe not that weird

What are you studying?

Economics.

I would have guessed business with your background 😛

You’re studying psychology?

How did you know?

Is Wilhelm being creepy? He reaches for the closest pillow, on his sofa, and muffles a scream into it. Picking his phone back up, he tries for casual.

You said so in your intro

For a sec I thought the rich kids group chat was talking shit about me

If there is one I’m not in it

Maybe you should get into one… be my person on the inside.

Wait do you mind me asking your gender? Kinda assumed you were a girl since you’re in the Prince Wilhelm fanclub but realized I don’t know

Guy actually

Prince Wilhelm fanclub really 😑

You were so passionate about defending him!

But yeah, I guess you’re right that he could be a normal guy that we don’t know much about

It’s hard not to generalize when I went to school with so many rich assholes and they’re worse out of the public eye

Were all of them that awful?

Not every single person individually maybe

As a whole… the culture of privilege encourages bullying/hazing

Hillerska and so many other ~elite~ schools have had pupils convicted for assaults due to hazing

There’s an in-group/out-group dynamic at these schools enforced through a culture of silence and violence, and it extends to later life when these students are out in wider society but still have these in-group bonds formed during their formative years

And this culture of hazing inducts these people into upholding the “old boys culture” even when they’re adults years out of school

Wilhelm doesn’t know what to say to all of that.

I hope you’re okay now

I was a day student, so it wasn’t as bad for me

Sorry for going off like that on you… you probably went through something similar

I wouldn’t know. I went to a non-boarding independent school in Stockholm so it was very different.

My brother didn’t tell me much about Hillerska

Maybe he didn’t want to worry you about it

Maybe, Wilhelm thinks.

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When Wilhelm asks Erik about it later, Erik’s reticence is visible even through fuzzy video.

“It’s just a bunch of kids cooped up with nothing to do,” Erik says. “It’s nothing to write home about.”

Wilhelm feels an ember of anger rising in him. “Do you mean there’s nothing to write because it wasn’t that bad, or because there is a culture of silence that prevents the acknowledgement of the harm and trauma caused?”

On screen, Erik’s head tilts in a minute nod. “Is this something you’ve been talking about in your university-provided counselling sessions?”

“No.” Wilhelm runs a hand through his hair. “It came up in class when we were talking about organizations.”

“Corporate organizations,” Erik repeats with an eyebrow raised. He pauses, like he’s thinking it through. “I thought most of it was harmless, but I can see if some people may have felt harmed.”

“I googled it. Two students were convicted of burning another student the year before you started there, Erik. There’s no way you didn’t know about that.”

Erik looks away and sighs. “I’d like to say that the faculty and staff were more vigilant when I was there, but that wasn’t completely true. I did not see anything close to that severe when I was there, though.”

“Fine,” Wilhelm says.

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The next day, Wilhelm has a monotonous lecture about cooperation and negotiation in economics. It ought to be an interesting topic, but this course makes any topic as long and dry as winter. Wilhelm’s thoughts return to what Simon said.

simme

Do you think I’m one of those rich assholes?

We’ve only talked online so I don’t really know you…

Do you want me to be honest?

Please.

A bubble with three dots appears, and disappears. Wilhelm bites at his nails. It reappears, and disappears. Then:

You seem a little sheltered? Like sometimes you’ll say something that is really privileged but if I call you out on it you’ll think about it a little bit and take what I say into account

So you’re more self-aware than the average rich asshole, at least

I’d have to meet you in person to know for sure haha

Lol

Thanks for telling me

I’ll consider it my civic duty… making sure you don’t turn out to be an asshole 😉

Seriously though if you want to meet up we definitely could

Wilhelm is definitely never going to meet Simon, or Minou might lock him in the palace.

Sorry I’m busy with school

No pressure! But we could meet over break if you want to. You could come down to Stockholm or I could go to Uppsala.

I’ll have to see

Thanks for the offer though

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Simon Eriksson @sweden

.@chrismt Some universities have housing for international students. In Stockholm the SSSB also provides accommodation for students regardless of university but there’s a queue so some people share flats instead or sublet

Chris @chrismt

@sweden that sounds difficult

Simon Eriksson @sweden

@chrismt Universities outside Stockholm will be better 😅

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As it turns out, Wilhelm has to be in Stockholm over the weekend. He arrives outside his flat to find a black Audi with a driver standing beside it, early than agreed upon. He goes into his flat, sets an alarm for five minutes before when he’s supposed to leave, and eats a snack until the alarm goes off.

He messages Simon as they drive out of the parking lot:

simme

Busy this weekend :( Won’t be able to message as often

Don’t get too swamped with coursework… remember to take breaks and drink water!

By the time Wilhelm arrives at the palace, the sky has darkened, a reminder of the approaching winter. His mother and Erik are both away for events, so it is just him and his father, eating a quiet meal before retiring to bed. He checks his Twitter once before bed, though there no new messages and no new tweets from Simon.

Saturday morning, Wilhelm wakes to a loud knock. He checks his phone: seven-thirty. He stumbles out of bed, dresses himself well enough for someone getting re-dressed by a PR department in a few hours, and sleepily makes his way to the private formal dining room.

“The prince will arrive at Astrid Lingen’s Children Hospital at ten,” Farima recites. “The prince will meet several children in the newly opened gardens. Here are their names, photos, and brief biographies.”

Wilhelm takes a gulp of water to wash down the bread in his mouth. “Are the biographies necessary? I’m only going to be there for an hour.”

“We don’t want a repeat of the prince’s last engagement,” Minou says, demanding his obedience with a firm look. His father, the prince consort, eats in silence.

Wilhelm returns her stare. “Let me finish breakfast first at least.” He waits, refusing to blink. A long silence later, Minou makes a gesture and Farima retracts the printout. Wilhelm resumes eating.

After, he changes into the outfit the PR department have chosen for him and studies the profiles he’s been given. He rarely remembers everything he’s told to memorize, but he goes over them a few more times as Minou orders the hair and makeup artist around.

Once he’s in the car, he’s finally able to check his phone. There’s a notification from Twitter right at the very top.

simme

Glad I don’t have to be on campus this weekend… Prince Wilhelm’s fanclub has staged a takeover

Wilhelm plays dumb.

What, why?

They say he’s visiting ALB? Half my class are convinced they can be the Swedish Kate Middleton

People are totally embarrassing themselves for 137 million kr a year

Judging by Prince Erik they should probably try webcamming first

Wilhelm winces at the reminder. It’s brought up whenever Erik’s gone without scandal for too long, and although Wilhelm was too young to notice when it happened, he now understands that his mother’s public and private opinion on Erik’s exes are polar opposites.

Wilhelm types several responses, and eventually goes with what he thinks is the most neutral one.

People have gone on reality TV for less

Don’t tell me you watch Paradise Hotel! I’d have to stop talking to you

jk I watch it when I’m bored

Without thinking about it, he writes:

Wow, you weren’t who I thought you were

He presses enter before he fully realizes what he’s written. He panics. What if he’s offended Simon? What if Simon stops talking to him?

Lmao gotta keep our relationship exciting

Now that you’ve mentioned it, the royal family is kind of like a reality show

You could play a game with Aftonbladet headlines: Paradise Hotel contestant or royal?

Ugh imagine if Mos were a royal

See? It could get worse

Don’t remind me that August is almost a royal

Wilhelm grimaces at the thought too.

Yeah I’m pro-Wilhelm now… anything to keep August out of the line of succession

I suppose I’ve convinced you to my side?

I guess 😂

Wilhelm arrives at the hospital, where he’s ushered to a photo op with a few child patients in the garden. The photos don’t take much time. He thinks about what Simon’s said about the royal family, and spends a few more minutes than usual talking with each child before they leave the garden.

He doesn’t have to be anywhere the rest of the day, so he turns to Farima and asks, “Could we tour of one of the wards? Not if it’s too much of a hassle of course.”

A genuine smile appears on Farima’s face. “If you could accommodate the prince,” she says to the hospital director beside them.

“Of course, of course, the children would love it.”

Wilhelm surprises a few parents, who likely would have snapped a photo of Farima wasn’t there to glare at them. The children, however, greet his presence with a pure and simple joy. He’s a storybook hero to them, one happy to chatter away about their treatments and their best friends, human or otherwise. One gap-toothed girl gives him a well-worn plush lion, telling him to take good care of it. He touches his thumb to hers in a solemn promise.

Wilhelm keeps the toy snug against his chest all the way back to the palace. He only lets go of it once to place it by his bed, where his frog prince once sat. Tomorrow it’ll join his frog prince in Uppsala.

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Wilhelm returns home in the mid-afternoon, when the autumn sun is shining full-tilt through his curtains. He’s barely changed into his home clothes when his phone chirps.

Wilhelm can’t help but tease.

simme

“Stockholm isn’t that small” and yet your university is beside the hospital

🤫

Also it takes me 30 minutes to get to campus by bus so no Stockholm isn’t that small

That’s a bit of a commute

All of the closer dorms require at least a year of queuing 😢

Isn’t it also hard to find student housing in Uppsala?

My parents arranged mine 😬

Lucky

Class warfare abandoned if you can get me a flat within walking distance of KI

You are not immune to upward mobility.jpg

😆

I love sleep more!

There’s a knock on his door. “It’s me,” comes Erik’s voice.

“Come in!”

His phone chirps again. Simon’s sent him a meme of a cat sleeping across two tram seats, captioned ME IRL.

“Who are you texting?” comes Erik’s voice from up close.

Wilhelm startles, his phone falling onto his bed with a muffled thump.

“Um,” he says. “A friend.”

Erik grins, poking at Wilhelm’s cheek. “A friend.”

Wilhelm sputters, looking down as his cheeks pull into a shy smile.

Erik pulls him and ruffles his hair. “I thought I’d never get to tease you over a crush,” he says cheerily.

“Erik,” Wilhelm protests. “It’s not like that! We just talk online.”

“But you think they’re cute?”

Wilhelm stares at the scruffy lion plush beside his bed. “Maybe.”

Erik smooths the duvet and sits beside Wilhelm. “I’m happy for you, you know? You should live your life a little bit. You don’t have to be so serious all the time.”

With a groan, Wilhelm falls back and collapses into his pillows. “It’s not like that,” he insists.

“But it’s a little like that?”

Wilhelm makes another noise of despair, covering his face with his hands. He shakes his head a little. “He doesn’t know who I am.”

Erik hums, considering his words. “You’re getting to know him as a person rather than as a prince. That’s more honest, right?”

“But I’m lying to him about who I am?”

“A lie of omission is not too bad. I’m sure you’ll be able to explain.”

“Erik,” Wilhelm whines. “We’ve talked about me before! Me as in the prince.”

“Okay,” Erik says. “That is not so great.” He tries to cheers him up. “But I’m sure he would understand.”

Wilhelm looks back to the lion. “I hope.”

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